The criteria for selecting a good spouse; religiousness
- Updated On Sunday, 27 July 2014
- Written by Ayatullah Ja'far Subhani
- Editor Kawther Rahmani
- Supervisor Sayyed Roohullah Musavi
- Published on Tuesday, 10 May 2011
- Hits: 557 views
- Hits: How important is religiousness in selecting a spouse?
He who does not have religion does not have anything, and no matter what he owns and possesses he will be considered and evaluated as 'nothing.' An irreligious man is actually a 'moving dead body.' For the person who is not committed and bound to religion, which is the most real matter of life, no security or guarantee exists that he would be committed to the rights of his spouse and be bound to the norms of a shared life. A religious and pious person cannot live with an irreligious spouse and have a prosperous and blessed common life. A pious person may be able to tolerate and bear other shortcomings of the spouse, but they can never bear and accommodate the irreverence and recklessness of the spouse. Yes, if both of them are without religion and heedless to the laws of religion, it is possible. But their lives will never be successful. Prosperity is absolutely impossible to achieve without honesty. Absolutely impossible!! Yes, they might consider themselves to be prosperous, but this consideration is 'sheer ignorance.' That is to say, they are in fact unfortunate and miserable, although they think they are blessed and successful. Anyhow, a religious and pious person wants a religious spouse. If one is religious and the other is irreligious and uncommitted, they will not become prosperous. Of course, being religious means being so in its real sense, meaning being absolutely committed to Islam, accepting it and practicing it from the core of one's heart, rather than having a shallow, rootless and feigned religiousness. A man came to the Prophet (S) to seek guidance in connection with the selection of a spouse. He (S) said to him: "It is (binding) upon you to have a religious spouse." (1) On another occasion, he (S) ordered all people of all ages: "It is binding upon all of you to select a religious spouse." And again, in another case, he (S) said: "A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and the one who marries her (only) for her beauty, he will find in her (things) which he dislikes (displeasing matters) and the one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness), Allah will gather up all these things for him." (2) There is an elegant and subtle point in this tradition; that is, if a man marries a woman (only) for her beauty, he will see unpleasant things in her. Perhaps these 'unpleasant matters' mean that the beauty of an irreligious wife would be the cause of a bad name, scandal or disgrace. The same beauty that was the cause of marriage with her becomes the cause of nuisance and dishonour.
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References: (1)- Wasa'il al-Shi'a, vol. 14, p. 30. (2)- Alvafi, vol. 21, p. 47.